The Smudge, August 17th

I’ve never been one to wear foundation. My Mom always said that wearing face makeup was akin to wearing a hat on your face! Ok, but seriously I never have. And it’s not because I have fabulous skin, it’s just because I don’t, never did and never want to. I don’t love the line of demarcation you get at your neck or hairline where the makeup stops and your real skin begins. (Especially if it’s orange!) I’m not thrilled by the pancake look of a solid color and I especially despise the smudgy transfer you get on your face or clothes when you kiss or hug someone who hit the bottle too hard and their creamy complexion is left on you as a reminder of their morning beauty routine. It gives me the ick. I don’t want your face on my face. Is that too much to ask? In short I’m not a fan of the smudge.

It’s sort of like when someone rubs you the wrong way… and you can’t quite put your finger on why, but you can actually feel a little shiver that it’s just a no go for you. For me it’s usually that they didn’t make eye contact when they said hello, or were looking past me when they shook hands or didn’t smile with their eyes. I guess all of these are a form of not being present which to me is the whole point of meeting someone, to be there in person with all senses intact. I guess I’ve become immune to that sort of smudge, because I don’t let it leave a mark. I just move on as they become as forgettable to me as I probably was to them.

The kinds of transfer I do like, however, involve good habits. I once read that a flight attendant always wipes the basin after she uses the lavatory on a plane. That’s so nice for the following passenger. That’s intel transfer that works for everyone and a habit that I’ve adopted, regardless of what the prior flyer did. Feel free to pass it on!

Another great smudge that is so simple is a smile. It’s amazing how often a smile begets a smile in return. This is a smudge worth spreading, too.

Another great habit is to not the let the water run as you’re brushing your teeth. I like a wet toothbrush and obviously to rinse after said brushing, but think of all that wasted water during the actual act of teeth cleaning maintenance. So now that’s a habit. Can I smudge you with it?

I often think of the good habits I’d love to rub off on those around me. As a real New Yorker, moving efficiently through lines, the grocery store, turnstyles and sidewalks is a smudge I’d love to smear on everyone! Having good spatial relations is another as in being aware of the physical space you take up in the world so that you don’t swing around and take someone out with your big heavy backpack. Jeez!

Most of these ideas we all learned in kindergarten… If you drop it, pick it up. If you take the last one, replace it. If you open something, close it when you’re finished. Turn the lights off in rooms you leave. Sharing is caring– learn to be a good listener. Wash your hands. Wait your turn. Learn to say sorry. Respect boundaries. And for god’s sake, flush!!

This reminds me that when Michael and I started dating, he said that one of the most attractive things about me was that the counters in my kitchen were shiny! I swear he said that out loud. Ha! There was not a smudge to be found. And ironically I have learned so much from him and hopefully he from me over the years. I think we are smudge-worthy of one another.

So the message of today is that if you have a good smudge, pass it on… just not onto my face please!