Don’t you just gasp sometimes at the things you hear or witness? And you think to yourself what’s wrong with these people? Well I’ve been paying close attention lately to headscratcher moments, horrifying witness statements and altogether craziness. These are the peeps we are talking about and I gotta tell you that some of these people are hilarious. First up…
Now we’re moving onto some cheeky holiday commentary that probably nobody ever thought of until now. Who is comparing the Easter Bunny to Santa? Class? Anyone? I thought so. But check out this guy who is angry about there being no threshold to receive an abundance of eggs on Easter vs. having to be on your best behavior to have Santa as a gift giving bro…
Ok, friends. I have a crazy soup story for you. I was coming home from a business trip in Maine and there were no direct routes back to NYC so I was scheduled through Boston. I had about 20 short minutes in between flights to change terminals. But the only thing on my mind was did I have enough time to secure a cup of delicious New England Clam Chowder from the famous Logan Airport Legal Sea Foods outpost before boarding? When you know, you know.
Much to my delight, I discovered their express lane for soup lovers and I was able to grab and go. Whew. Some time later I’m on the plane, we take off for the thirty minute flight to LaGuardia and so I break out the chowda excited to dig in. Well, the two broads in front of me with the serious Jersey accents just about had an all out fit the minute I cracked the lid! “What is that Suh-MELL? WHO is eating what? How can someone bring that stench ontuh a plane! Oh, my gawd!!! Couldja NOT?” On and on. As quickly as I could, I crumpled my crackers, dumped them into the soup and absolutely inhaled the meal in mere minutes. Not the leisurely slurp and crunch I had envisioned to savor every spoonful but satisfying nonetheless. This was more like gulp and go but I got the job done! And by the way, I couldn’t smell a thing like the drama queens professed.
By the time the stewardess came around to collect the trash, the gals in front had completely trashed me! And even after I handed over my emptied guilty pleasure packed neatly into a paper bag with the lid completely sealed, the women continued to bash my apparent olfactory offense. I guess they didn’t know it was me directly behind them because when we deplaned at LaGuardia they were still talking about it instead of beating me up or screaming, “No soup for you!”. So yes ladies– I was the culprit in 7C. I’m not going to apologize for my six minute meal. That chowder was bomb. But check out this passenger who decided to meal prep midair. That alone is ambitious. I think her offense was worse though, no? And forty-five minutes to eat it? C’mon. Shameful etiquette, Karen.
And then sadly I see myself in some of these savages, too. And I’m not even sorry!
I guess when we make jokes about THEM, sometimes the THEM is actually US! So if at some point you’re debating a should you or shouldn’t you questionable scenario, maybe think twice so that your surrounding contingency doesn’t think, Couldja Not?
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