Long ago I worked with a very funny gal named Roxanne who looked stereotypically Bridge and Tunnel. For those of you who live outside the New York Metropolitan area, this is a local slur referring to those who have to (gasp) take a bridge or tunnel to enter the mecca that is Manhattan. The funny thing is that some B&T folks always poked fun at other B&Ts maintaining the unspoken but known hierarchy. Translation? Long Island, Jersey, Connecticut and even Rockland and Westchester were way cooler than the other NYC boroughs… and lowest on the list was Queens. Even the Bronx was more fashionable than living in Bayside, Bellrose, or Belle Harbor. I’m referring to the gigantic hair, the serious accent, the blue eyeliner, the gum chewing, the nails. You get the picture.
Anyway my friend Roxanne, who called herself “Roxxx” because she was such the girl who would add the extra x’s to her name thinking it was hot, used to use the snubby expression, “She thinks ALL who she is!” This was a slight. The phrase was used to describe a person who thought that she was better than everyone, and more specifically, better than Roxy. It was usually delivered loudly and with a combo head shake and one polished talon in the air, followed by an abrupt run of her fingers through her lavender hair, turnaround and exit. It was a classic Roxy move and hilarious to witness. It only made us all love her more.
The 90s version of this expression came straight out of the glossy lipped mouth of the character Cher Horowitz, played perfectly over the top by Alicia Silverstone in the cult movie Clueless. Her favorite phrase had to be, “As if!” This was used throughout the flick to mean absolutely no way would I date HIM, or you’ve GOT to be kidding me, or I wouldn’t be caught dead in THAT outfit. Roxy and Cher would have gotten along famously… assuming Roxxx was up for a little makeover courtesy of Cher, including a dropping of the extra Xs.
The first time I think I head the expression, “Get over yourself” was probably in the movie When Harry Met Sally. Harry brought his best friend Jess to a blind date with his gal pal Sally. Sally brought her bff Marie to set up with Harry. They met at Café Luxembourg on the Upper West Side (right in my neighborhood and one of my fave places!) for a double date. Anyway, during the dinner, Marie quoted something that she read in New York Magazine. As luck would have it, Jess actually wrote the line, “Restaurants are to people in the 80s what theater was to people in the 60s.” Jess went on to say that he also wrote, “Pesto is the quiche of the 80s.” Marie was so impressed with his writing having had such an impact on her and that she had never quoted something from a magazine ever, let alone reciting the line directly back to the author himself that she blurted out the famous quote, “Get over yourself! Don’t you think that’s amazing? I think that’s amazing!” And indeed it was. They literally fell in love at the table on a blind date, and not with the person to whom they were being introduced!
Fast forward to present day. My expression is usually, “Umm, no.” or “Yeah, no.” or “I don’t think so.” All of these phrases come with hand on hip, a little shake and one eyebrow raised. Can you picture it?? And being older than Cher and Roxy were, the irony is that nowadays I say, “Get over yourself” to myself! Yes, with age comes wisdom. Like when it’s taking me way too long to style my hair, out loud I say, “Get over yourself, hon. Nobody is focused on your bangs.” And it’s true. Or when I change my handbag before I leave the house, yeah, nobody cares what I’m carrying. Even when I trip in public. So what? It’s a way to keep myself in check. To be fair, I do occasionally throwdown that phrase when I’m out and about, but generally it has become an in house expression because it does wonders for me and doesn’t help me much to criticize strangers other than to garner the occasional laugh.
To me the line has much more to do with self esteem than just outward appearances. I’ve mentioned before than I’m in a business development role. So it’s sales all day every day. And generally my phone doesn’t ring, which is part and parcel of the gig. I’m making outgoing calls, following up, showing up, inviting people out, etc. And when I don’t get a call back, which is 90% of the time, I have to remind myself that people are busy working hard themselves, it’s not all about me (the shock!) and to not take their actions personally. It’s just business and they actually understand that I’m just working hard at my job too. Basically I need to get over myself. The deals do come and my track record is solid, even though my phone doesn’t often ring. And it’s ok to be proud of myself for my dedicated, consistent efforts which produce positive results. Hard work appreciates hard work.
So as we are all “suiting up” this Monday morning in casual clothes, workout wear, travel gear or staying in pjs to brave the day, there will always be someone who takes the wind out of our sails in a way that lets us laugh at ourselves if we are confident enough to allow it! Imagine if we all took ourselves a lit-tle less seriously, the world might be an easier place to navigate. So please consider my advice and get over yourself!
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