Do you have a friend, relative, significant other or fellow diner who vows to pick the healthiest thing on the menu, counting solely on you ordering the most unhealthy entree that she happens to be craving? And when your food arrives, her plan is to decimate your meal while she pushes her sad little dressingless salad around the plate. This my friends is known locally as Wandering Fork Syndrome and we must find a way to end this très offensive behavior,… for those happy hands must be stopped!
“You don’t mind right?” is a typical comment as she grabs a handful of tater tots. “You weren’t going to eat ALL of those fries, were you?” levies the shame upon you (How dare she!) as her swift fingers secure the rights to your piping hot potatoes. And, “The portion is huge… you won’t miss a few!” can be used as a carefree jab lobbed directly across the booth that lands smack dab in the middle of your tower of twice fried onion rings.
And as you’re contemplating homicide at table 27 with your dull butter knife, you decide that you refuse to be embarrassed about the large pile of yum that you ORDERED FOR YOURSELF with no plans of donating most of them to Miss Lettuce Leaf herself. Harumph.
How do you handle people like this? A perplexing question for sure. Option A– “Stephanie, you seem to enjoy the fries here so much! I’d be happy to ask the waitress to bring you an order for yourself.” Option B– “Stephy, I’m not sure I’m going to eat all of these fabulous tater tots. May I give you a few if I don’t finish my portion?” Option C–“Steph, you seem desperate for some grease so before you attack my onion rings, I’m gifting you one to complement your sad looking salad.” I guess the option you select depends on the strength of your relationship… that and how hungry you are. Ok, and how good the food is, too!
Sharing is a great idea if both parties are on board with the share. But when your pal becomes greedy with your groceries, and wandering fork syndrome sets in, it’s perfectly acceptable to option out of her food issues and claim home plate as your own.
jenslittleblackbook.com 