I hosted a fabulous all ladies dinner recently in conjunction with a regional networking conference. In attendance besides yours truly were six extremely fierce, brilliant, superstars at various stages of their illustrious careers. At my behest, we were seated at a roundish booth so that we could all participate in one conversation instead of having a bunch of sidebars. This crowd could give the women of The View a run for their money on the Hot Topics segment! The conversation was lively, the food was fantastic, and the drinks were free flowing.
In between bites of crab cake and a chunky blue cheese topped wedge salad that we nicely asked to be chopped for easier scooping, we learned that some of us were in committed relationships (three married, moi in a long-term conscious coupling) and three were single with lots to say about the current dating climate and serious ineligibility of too many of the current bachelors swiping their way to unsuccessful dates with my gal pals. (Yes, both The Tinder Swindler and Inventing Anna both came up– two Netflix shows about scams.)
When the main course of lobster tails, steaks, and halibut arrived with sides that included five cheese macaroni, roasted asparagus, whole braised cauliflower, twice fried potatoes with sea salt, wild mushrooms, and crispy Brussel sprouts (Yeah, I went a little crazy with the ordering. Hello, have we met??), the conversation changed to the latest beauty trends.
Miraculous makeup was a topic (ilmakiage), and a favorite hair tool (the Conair twirling thing), along with the power of gorgeous hair extensions. I chimed in with my new go-to mascara (Thrive Causmetics Liquid Lash Extensions) and of course we covered actual eyelash extensions– expensive and worth it, but ultimately bad for the natural lashes to which they adhere. Blowouts had a glossy moment courtesy of Dry Bar- my friend’s hair looked spectacular with luscious waves for days that stayed put even in winter humidity. We all had hair envy.
The service was slow at best, which actually worked in our favor as we soon moved onto work issues with male bosses. (Our waiter Juan seemed to have Juan-dered away just in time for some real corporate cursing!) And the input here was shocking, but not surprising. In large part, most of us had experienced a man or men bosses who more than frowned upon our enthusiastic attitudes and impressive capabilities. We concluded that our strengths made each of them feel unworthy and since they were in positions to control our career trajectories, their missions were to block our ladder climbing in not such subtle ways.
One of us was told point blank, “You’re too ambitious!’ Can you f’ing imagine hearing that?! She’s already jonesing for the door to get away from that guy. I was once told that I was insatiable! My response was, “Yes, I’m in sales. You’ll always think that’s a bad thing and I’ll always wear it as a badge of honor.” (Insert me mouthing the word ASSHOLE here.) Another chick was talking about jumping jobs and getting a bump in salary every time she did. So we gave ourselves taglines that could become mission statement t-shirts or bumper stickers. “You’re too ambitious.” “You’re insatiable.” “I kept bumping.” Other tables in the restaurant could hear our collective roar.
By the time the towering chocolate layer cake, frosted carrot cake, and crème brûlée arrived, we had changed gears into a side splittingly funny conversation about pineapples. Who knew this was a suburban shopping cart alert signaling to other shoppers that you were open to swinging– that is in addition to the rather obtuse orange lawn chairs prominently displayed in your front yard? (I’m still questioning the validity of that last part.)
We also managed to brainstorm a few new hilarious emojis (half an eggplant might be useful at times!) and came up with an app that would loudly alert the caller to his nickname as coined by the disappointed date he was trying to reach. (It’s that cheap guy from last week! Don’t pick up!) Needless to say, it was an all-out riot.
So the next time you walk past a group of powerful gals in serious mode or creating raucous laughter, just know that you are witnessing The Roar in real time. I want to thank all six women that joined me for dinner. You all impress and inspire me in different ways. It was a night of great bonding, a ton of laughs, and some serious venting. It was also a meal I won’t soon forget!
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