I absolutely loved the movie The Tourist with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. It’s a light-hearted thriller filled with sarcastically funny undertones and some fabulous Venice backdrops. In one scene, a very innocent and surprised Frank Tupelo, played by Johnny Depp, is pursued by a couple of thugs who broke into his hotel suite immediately following the delivery of a lovely cart of room service. (Way to ruin breakfast!)
He gets shot at, chased out the window of his hotel and onto the roof, and then panics. So he jumps into a canal to escape the thugs. Frank ends up at an Italian police station after the incident. This is the conversation:
Policeman: So… you wish to report a murder.
Frank: No, some people tried to kill me!
Policeman: I was told you were reporting a murder?
Frank: Attempted murder.
Policeman: That’s not so serious.
Frank: No, not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service it’s quite serious!
And speaking of room service, remember that scene in Pretty Woman where Edward Lewis orders Vivian Ward absolutely everything on the breakfast menu because he wasn’t sure what she’d like? (My dream morning scenario!) And then she eats a croissant while sitting on the edge of the table while wearing that thick, white fluffy hotel robe. (“There are four perfectly good chairs here,” he tells her. Classic.)
When I travel, I always check out the room service menu, although I rarely partake. (I also check out what my fellow floormates didn’t eat when they wheel their half-eaten carts into the hallway. Hey, that looks like an almost full chocolate milkshake that nobody touched and a whole pile of onion rings that smell amazing! I don’t touch… but I do look and judge their late-night selections. Who doesn’t?) Hotels make in room dining sound so decadent! Coddled eggs with a fancy Southwestern mango salsa, delicately roasted hash browns with charred purple onion and rosemary micro flecks, and a lightly toasted English muffin with homemade Iowa blackberry preserves for $37.00. A crisp multigrain buttermilk waffle with scattered strawberry blossoms, pure Vermont maple syrup and flower-shaped whipped butter medallions for the sale price of $35.00, plus an 18% service charge. (Adding a side of the black pepper speckled candied bacon will set you back an additional $11.) The kid’s meal is always hilarious– gently baked fingers of the chicken with tomato ketchup and skinny potato shards with a side of apple smiles for $27.50. I’d love to be the one writing those foodie descriptions!
I don’t know if you’ve been to Vegas lately (or ever) but the in room mini bar restrictions are fierce. They completely fill the fridge so that you can’t chill any personal items, and if you so much as jiggle one of the tiny bottles of alcohol and return it to its full and upright position, those thieves charge you for the removal of the item, as they assume you’ve compromised the integrity of the selection. How do they get away with that nonsense?!
Maybe the whole concept of room service is so much fun because growing up, eating in the bedroom was universally forbidden. So ordering a meal directly to your room sounds like you’re allowed to break all the house rules! Who cares if we get crumbs in the bed? Just use a washcloth if we run out of napkins! Let’s keep the mini hot sauce as a souvenir! What if we pocket the crystal salt and pepper shakers? Will they notice? Charge us? How much could it even be? Hell let’s just jump on the bed too to prove we can do what we want in this temporary housing oasis! Wet towels on the floor– we don’t care!
I teeter on the border of spending money on a nice room vs. something that is completely adequate because honestly, how much time do I really spend inside to make it worth it? Usually a hotel is just a place to sleep, and the sightseeing or visiting is the priority. Since I’m traveling so much for work now, I’ve become one of those people who pockets the extra almonds from the plane or during my brief visit to the Delta Sky Lounge, so that I have non-refrigerated items in case I’m famished at an odd hour and access to the fridge is too costly. But when I do upgrade and happen to indulge in room service, I always hope that the delivery comes with a side of apple smiles and that attempted murder is not even on the menu.
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