Have you ever lusted after something for so long that eventually you ended up not wanting it at all? I remember I was in love with a fancy pair of earrings from Saks for about a year. I’d visit them, try them on and imagine my life if those earrings were happily attached to my ears on a day-to-day basis. I’d feel glamorous hailing a cab while my hair billowed in the wind, well adorned while at a lunch meeting, and well to do while browsing at Bergdorf’s. (Confirmation that life would be grand with those sparkly additions for sure.) But they were a little out of my budget, so I never pulled the trigger.
One day after a visiting hiatus of a few months, I went back to Saks and the earrings were gone! I was surprisingly relieved to be honest. Someone else decided to buy my beloved hoops and my outlay of cash for all of that fabulous imagining amounted to zero. Thinking about it now, I can only say that the designer was Stephen Webster, known for both his edgy style and literal sharp edges, but I can’t even recall exactly what the earrings looked like! I just remember how they made me feel.
When Cold Stone Creamery opened near my office on West 42nd Street in the early 2000s I was beyond excited. I dragged my whole corporate crew there every single day to get ice cream. I had never witnessed the concept of mix-ins and I thought the sizing of their cups was genius– they featured Like It, Love It, and Gotta Have it. C’mon, I’m obviously a gotta have it kind of gal, especially when it comes to dessert, but I showed restraint since I mixed strawberries, brownies, and hot fudge into their absolutely divine flavor of Cake Batter. The happiness of Cold Stone was an easy reality to buy and savor.
I left a job a few years ago and the decision to move on was a huge one. To commemorate the occasion, the change in direction, and the bravery I felt upon my exit, I decided to treat myself to a major piece of jewelry. It’s no coincidence that I had a big birthday that year ending in a zero (no, I’m not doing the math for ya) and that helped with the silent yet unnecessary justification for the purchase. Anyway, my friend Tracey and I had discussed buying just one of these (it was a necklace) and sharing the sucker. We had gone to the jewelry store several times together to admire ourselves and each other wearing the mega medallion. She joked that it was so big, it could possibly save my life on the subway should a stray bullet land anywhere near my chest. (Clearly another reason in favor of the purchase.) I joked that if she ever needed to start the fire pit in her backyard that she could just triangulate the medallion with the sun and the wood to create an instant bonfire. (She loved that idea.)
Through the joint laughter, ultimately we both decided that we liked it, loved it and had to have our own– thank God I wasn’t the only crazy one in this scenario. Being able to afford such a major piece made me feel powerful and accomplished and it marked a time in my life when I thought I needed a literal symbol to tie me to the feeling and to mark the event. It also affected my posture– that huge medallion around my neck made me hunch over– kidding… sort of. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, so heavy is the chest that wears the medallion.
And now that I’ve had it for a while, I feel like if I never wear it again, I can still retain the feeling it’s given me, which is something I should have learned with the less expensive earrings that I never even bought! Yeah, sometimes I can be a stubborn learner, but lookout once I get it.
As we all know, confidence comes from the inside, not from outer adornments. (Michael, if you’re reading this– look away!! The only exception to this rule is an engagement ring, oh love of mine.) I do think that with the proper exercises, I can learn to lift the finger Africa will be perched on, by the way. And, hello? That’s commitment! The ring certainly wouldn’t make me happy at all without the guy. And in Cold Stone terminology, I like him, love him and can’t live without him. Perfect timing to wish Michael a very Happy Anniversary! I love you. And honey… I think I’m craving ice cream to celebrate– I just gotta have it.
jenslittleblackbook.com 