We all give into temptation once in a while. The lure of a fancy travel guide draws us into the bookstore. A shiny bauble in the window leads us directly to the jewelry counter. The irresistible smell of fresh baked goods wafting down Broadway might give flight to our heels and usher us right through the front door of Bread’s Bakery when suddenly only a chocolate babka will do. Popcorn exhaust streaming from the vents of a movie theater has more than once forced my hand; eyes closed I inhaled deeply, then made a beeline for the ticket counter. Temptation indeed.
Upon serious investigation, it’s possible that we are partial to only part of an item, but sadly that part comes as a package deal. (I was not referring to Aunt Lisa and Uncle Mark. But seriously, buddy? Her?) We must buy the whole crumb cake slice in order to enjoy the addictive crunchy top. We take a polite serving of green bean casserole to get our hands on those crispy fried onions. Have you ever eaten an actual portion of sweet potato pie or is your M.O. to casually scoop a disproportionate amount of the perfectly toasted marshmallow top with just a touch of sweet potato to avoid the watchful eye of your hostess? Yeah, I thought so.
Then there’s the harried request for the corner slice of Sicilian at the pizza place. (People actually want the middles?) The invention of flagels has creatively helped us avoid the task of scooping out the doughy bagel insides by flattening the disc completely and making the whole serving crispy– genius move.
It’s like that Seinfeld episode with the muffin tops. Elaine convinces Mr. Lippman to open the bakery, “Top of the Muffin to You” where they pop the tops off the muffins to sell them and donate the muffin stumps to a homeless shelter. But in the episode, even the homeless folks reject the castoffs and only want the muffin tops!
“Oysters are just a vehicle for crackers and ketchup.” So said Miss “Skeeter” Phelan to her dumbass date, Stuart in the movie The Help.
Shoppers want only berry-flavored Lifesavers Gummies, just cherry fruit slices and a homogenous pack of strawberry Mentos. At least food manufacturers got wise to consumers’ specific tastes. And although they never caved and made a “prizes only” box of Cracker Jack, the massive package of Lucky Charms inspired dehydrated marshmallows (minus any trace of cereal) is quite the nod to giving the people what they want, not to mention a six-year old’s dream. How many green clovers or blue diamonds can one person even eat? On that one I have to pass. I don’t even wanna piece of that… but feel free to save me a Gummie in raspberry please!
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