Enough, February 9th

Between Christmas and New Year’s I did a massive closet purge and house clean. I was able to edit over 100 items from my humble abode, mostly from my overflowing wardrobe. Some were donated, some trashed and some put in a pile to sell. And if you look into my still full closets you might suspect that no such refinement ever took place as they still look packed. So it got me thinking about the concept of enough. What exactly is enough? Obviously this varies from person to person and can be seasonal and/or circumstantial.

I also took the bold step of doing another “dry” month. I know it’s common to give up alcohol especially in January to have a clean start to the year. But since I’m not much of a drinker, I wanted to give up a different vice… shopping. And to repeat my great success from last year’s Dry July test case when I did fabulously well, I ventured to do a Dry January my way.

And I’m finding so many people are doing no spend challenges! How cool. So here are some options if you’re into this sort of thing and then I’m going to share what I discovered…

Firstly where in the hell do I think I’m going?? I still shop like I have a corporate job when I do not (yay) but my closet and credit card have not gotten that message. So this time eleven days into the period of austerity, I was tested. I was out and about in midtown and stumbled across a perfectly lovely brown, Merino wool, high neck, light weight cardigan. It looked ideal for traveling, good for day one of a conference or a cozy option for a dinner date in NYC. Basically catnip for me.

But instead of trying it on and venturing into dangerous territory, I instead snapped a pic and promptly left the store. (Please hold your applause.) I was trying so hard to stick to my plan. And I reasoned with myself that if I was still desperately in need of said cardi on Feb. 1st, I’d have the opportunity to reconsider the brown bombshell if she wasn’t already sold out. (This one has the potential to be a wardrobe staple, I mused.) Who knows… maybe waiting would allow the item to go on sale. Imagine that? But part of me would be relieved if she were gone. Did I really need another great sweater? (Don’t answer.) I realized it never is a question of need. It’s all about the adrenaline fix of the want that is realized by immediate gratification.

But it’s not just the needy flag on the clothes play that I recognized. It’s another tabletop knickknack, a good smelling candle, promising hair mask, or desk accessory that tend to fall way too easily into the shopping cart. I know we all do this. So I tried to dig deeper into the why I impulse shop. How does it make me feel? What do I get out of it? Is the rush worth the dollars I actually spend?

And the answer was not surprising. I used to joke that I was so rich that I could walk into the GAP and buy anything I wanted. The price points there are moderate considering I live in NYC and am surrounded by the fanciest designers imaginable. But at the GAP I feel invincible! My dollars are endless. Everything is within my reach, even if my grabby hands don’t need a thing. So the emotions shopping elicits from me are… you guessed them… happiness mixed with power and a dash of control seasoned with the feelings of desire and deserve. A heady cocktail to be sure.