I saw a series of phrases by Case Kenny all under the umbrella of Green Flags and instantly they resonated with me. So I wanted to share them with you. They are sort of life changing. When you think of your life like a traffic signal of Red, Yellow and Green, the statements below are all greens. And we all know that green means go! Let me tell you why…
Being able to speak freely knowing you won’t be judged is such a great feeling. Sometimes you just want to vent uncontrollably without getting advice or ideas or feedback or noise or even being interrupted. And sometimes you want to start a big discussion and you need what ifs, and scenarios, and options for plotting and scheming your solution. So when your favorite listener prefaces the conversation by asking you what you need so that they can provide maximum assistance, it’s such a yes moment. It’s a supportive green flag.
We all have a friend that lets us dream! Someone who wants to hear every single thing we’d buy tomorrow with the winning lottery ticket we never bought. Or how we plan to quit our job tomorrow to spend a month in Tuscany backpacking and we don’t even own hiking shoes. Or how we plan to beat the reigning champ on Wheel of Fortune when we use spellcheck for every text. They support our crazy and encourage us to let our freak flag fly. It’s a compassionate green flag.
Lots of times we are overwhelmed by life in general. It’s so valuable to have a source who helps you center yourself, get back on track, and stop overthinking a problem. Someone who promotes clarity and serenity. It’s a calming green flag in a time of chaos.
If you have people in your life who are great at conflict resolution, consider yourself lucky. Being able to address issues without growing the problem is a wonder. Lowering the temperature on conflict is an art. De-escalating a problem so you can both be heard and understood is intimacy goals, especially since so many of us are tempted to go to “violence” by increasing the tension or “silence” by dropping out of the conversation. When Michael and I argue, he is so quickly conciliatory that I tell him that fighting with him is so unsatisfying! Ha. But it is absolutely terrific for getting along. This is truly a good relationship green flag.
When it comes to rotten ex-landlords, toxic ex-work environments, and abusive ex-spouses, getting over the situation through healing and learning really makes those experiences far away blips in your rear view mirror. Being able to look back without the past smacking you in the head is progress. And taking responsibility or accountability for your part is green flag maturity.
Life is filled with drama. And I believe there is no such thing as overreacting. Who even coined that phrase?? (No doubt it was some man.) Reacting in a way that suits you is up to you. You’re allowed to have your reaction reflect your feelings. Who is anyone to judge? Someone who lets you be you and express yourself, even in times of high drama is a green flag god or goddess.
One of the signs that lets you know that you’re truly loved is when someone says great things about you behind your back. I sometimes make it a point to those closest to me by telling them to their face what I say behind their back. They should know! Why keep it a secret, right?
We all need green flags in our lives. Positive movement should propel us forward and forward means progress. So appreciate the green flaggers in your life, and try to be as green as possible for those important to you. And remember, it’s not always easy being green. But wow, it sure is amazing!
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