Have It Your Way, March 10th

Remember the Burger King slogan that started in 1973? It was the Have It Your Way theme. “Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce. Special orders don’t upset us. All we ask is that you let us serve it your way.” They decided to capitalize on customization for maximum customer satisfaction. Back then I was a fan of the Whopper Jr. It was the perfect size for a youngster like me. And those onion rings were a crispy fast food dream! Since that slogan went viral, we’ve all become accustomed to having what we want just how we want it, a la Sally from When Harry Met Sally ordering a salad.

But it’s funny that your location can matter. So let’s say you’ve decided to picnic in Central Park to enjoy a great spring day. And you bring cheese, crackers, pasta salad, mini sandwiches, fruit, chips, cookies, drinks and all the fixins. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect spread? But if you were to take all of those items out of the fridge and pantry and set up that feast on your kitchen counter at home it would be ridiculous!

So I guess the same is true for a barbecue. Eating two burgers at home or in a restaurant might seem glutenous. But If you’re at a July 4th party it might just be your opening act. Followed by some good looking corn, a heap of homemade cole slaw and a grilled hot dog with the works. I’m hungry already.

There is a time and place for foods that are acceptable, right? But some folks throw caution to the wind and do not care what the rest of us think. Just look at this rebel who ordered salad dressing and only salad dressing… and with a straw!

And then there are those well heeled people who consider anything wrapped in phyllo dough to be upscale. I hate to burst yer bubble there but take a gander at this side by side comparison that will blow your snooty mind…

I happen to be a big fan of Greek yogurt. I love the thick creamy texture. I add a drizzle of Greek honey and some cut up fruit and love it as a meal or dessert. I add yog to pancake batter to zhuzh up the protein ratio, to boxed cake mixes for moistness, and use it to thicken dips or salad dressings. And it’s so much healthier than sour cream. But apparently the singer John Mayer does not agree…

I love that quote about eating chips while you stand in front of the pantry deciding if you even want to eat chips. That is so me! Below is the pizza equivalent of that story, and funnier!! Like who hasn’t done this…

When you are hungry, knowing what you want to eat is key. I can always be talked into meatballs and spaghetti, but no one has ever offered that to me as a snack. (Michael! You are falling down on the job!) I don’t think I’ve ever passed on a brownie either. But food knowledge is helpful when you are combining ingredients, making substitutions and even following basic recipes.

Some people like to have a sense of humor about food. But not this guy. This would be grounds for breaking up if you ask me!

Food is one of life’s simple pleasures. And sometimes basic is best. A just picked, perfectly firm organic Honey Crisp apple that you bite into with gusto. A glistening cheese omelette sliding out of the pan and onto a toasted buttered English muffin. Mmmmm! I do like a ten ingredient fried chicken and a good marinara that has been simmering all day. But sometimes I just want to eat Ritz crackers leaning over the counter with some squeeze cheese.