The Price Of Admission, February 10th

There are some places that seem completely off limits. Or where the entrance fee seems unattainable. One where the price of admission is simple but steep. I’m talking about the price of intimacy– connectivity among friends.

I read something recently published by The Roslyn Project that described the five reasons we don’t meet people by accident and I wanted to share those with you. The category of people are broken down into re-directors, teachers, angels, guideposts, and tribe.

How amazing to think of roadblocks as redirection! The job offer you didn’t receive by that struggling law firm is actually a blessing because it forced you out of your comfort zone and back into job search mode. And when you landed your dream job right in your sector of choice… look at you! Delayed to find a better purpose. And now it all makes sense. I’m sure if we all look back we will find that re-directors influenced our past and helped shape our future for the better.

We all have a smart friend who is so kind, good, and patient with us. Others marvel at the time they spend trying to teach and guide us. I had a friend like this a long time ago. And way before my remedial self awareness kicked in, she saw the good underneath my then cold, dismissive exterior and showed me empathy and understanding. And over time I have learned to do that for others. Amazing! And I’m forever grateful to my old friend KBK.

I love the use of the word angels here. They are the motivators who think you can do anything! They can be loved ones or strangers. They are able to toss an unexpected compliment your way that completely transforms the way you see yourself or the world. They are fierce protectors of your essence. My angel is a friend who years ago gently suggested I start blogging. And I must have brushed off the idea completely! I don’t even remember her saying it. Can you imagine?? And then she brought it up again a few years later and I suddenly warmed to the idea enough to dispel the feelings that I couldn’t or shouldn’t or that nobody wanted to read what I wanted to share. I had no idea how to set up a blog or pick a platform. But I figured it out. And I am so unbelievably happy that she didn’t give up on trying to convince me to give my writing structure and make my ideas public.

If you’ve ever been a runner you know about the rabbit. The rabbit is a target runner in front of you with whom you try to keep pace. The rabbit is someone who is substantially ahead of you but keeps you going; keeps you fighting to stay in the race. When you’re feeling weak or tired or struggling up a hill, sometimes your sole focus is just to keep the rabbit within your sights. You want to run as fast as she does. But keeping pace with her as your guidepost keeps you on track. What a good metaphor for life and goals.

And the fifth category is something we can all relate to… I love the word tribe. It really means your people. A tribe is “A social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture.” The bond, or glue or sharing that we allow defines how tight the bonds can become. In my tribe, the price of intimacy is honesty and vulnerability. And I’m so amazed at the strength of the ties that have come from punching that ticket.

So when you meet a new friend or stumble across a new acquaintance or are introduced to a new contact, remember that it’s not by accident. They are put in your path to try to teach you something. And now as I personally embark on a new chapter in my life starting today (exciting!), my first step is attending a huge industry conference where I plan to network with purpose and grow my tribe.