I know I’ve spoken about my love of Target before. It all started when I was in college. We all used to frequent the one near campus. The store was big and shiny and had great workout stuff, household items, snacks, drinks, and dorm room essentials. It was a shopper’s paradise! Fast forward mumble mumble years later and there are even Targets in New York City. (Can I get an Amen?) Yes they are smaller and very vertical, but I get that same happy feeling when I bolt through the doors and get a bright red basket or cart ’cause I know I’m about to fill it with a bunch of impulse items I will undoubtedly fall in love with and convince myself that I need, that they will make my life infinitely better. You, too? Yeah. It’s like a sickness, but in the best possible way!
At this point, Target should consider adding a new team member position to their robust in-store staff. These folks would be posted right next to the greeters near the front entrance. This new role would be like a personal assistant… but really they would be Tarzhay Shopping Czars in disguise. And you’d get to type into the kiosk how stern you want your shopping buddy to be. Like do you want a gal pal that gingerly says, “Jen? Jenster! You don’t need another lip gloss, pout glaze, plumping potion or soothing balm with a hint of color, right? Ya just bought one that you threw into your purse last week, ‘member? And guuuuurl, I haven’t seen you use it once! You’re still using that ol’ Shiseido stick that’s been on it’s last swipe for a few months now. So let’s go to the detergent aisle like we planned, mmmkay? And no, we aren’t taking a hard left near cereal so don’t even ask.”
Or do you want a kick ass military type with bulging biceps in full riot gear to physically remove the unnecessary makeup from your greedy little hands, scold you, and take over pushing the cart? It’s all in the tone and the level of shame you’re willing to inflict upon yourself I guess. (Are you laughing? I am laughing.) But seriously isn’t this a genius level idea?
What is it about Target that is just so pleasing? Some say it’s the lighting. Others claim it’s the wide aisles and amazing selection. I like that the layout of the stores is so similar from location to location. And they literally have things on every single aisle that I could see in my home (cutting boards) or closet (best pjs!). But maybe it’s just the cart? They never squeak, wiggle or wobble like grocery store carts do. Could it actually be that simple??
And when you take into consideration that most Target stores have a Starbucks, the most addictive caloriefest of blended drinks on the planet, you see why temptation surrounds your senses and makes you powerless to resist. And yum.
But not all Targets are created equal. Have you ever been to a Greatland? (Do you hear the angels singing above my head right now??) Greatland is their store designation for the gigantic big box floor plates that have a million more items and larger sizes and an expanded fleet of stuff you don’t need. Greatlands are about fifty-percent larger than traditional Target stores, and boast an increased number of checkout lanes and price scanners, two entrances, bigger aisles, expanded pharmacy and photography departments, and a food court. I wish Target would just go condo already! I would SO live in a Greatland. This is the actual secret sauce to make America great again! Who’s with me??
Just think of the discount you would get as a red circle resident? My head is swimming with ideas. I know I’m not the only Target die-hard. There are millions of us out there dreaming of our next purchases. But be careful if you decide to don a red polo while doing your Sunday shopping or you could end up like Stacey…
Being a Target shopper is such a joy. I wish they would contact me to be a red circle ambassador. Out of all the retail stores, they get my vote for price, selection and service. They are always right on Target.
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