It’s that time of year when school is out and kids are untethered and showing up in places you might not be used to seeing them. Like at trendy restaurants for lunch or fancy evening concerts. Some of these rascals are so out of control and sadly their parents seem to be oblivious to their wilding and shenanagans. When is running around a restaurant at top speed, fork in hand chasing your petrified younger brother a good idea? Who is minding these youngsters? And why are so many people silent about it?
Not everyone is meant to be a parent. The parents I know that are around my age had similar views to me about raising the next generation. The basic feeling was that you pretty much signed up to give up 22 years of your life to put your kids first so they may be well rounded, educated, traveled, bright, resourceful, kind, street smart, athletic, well mannered, independent, and wordly. That meant paying attention to them, nurturing their curiosities, and raising them to act properly in public. And if they weren’t behaving decently while you were out and about, we had the good sense to politely remove them immediately. But kids are definitely not for everyone and parenting is a huge job.
Does any adult really want to spend three hundred dollars for the latest greatest stuffed animal only to watch their mini me ditch that purple rhino six days after Christmas? Or swelter in peak humidity to see the view from the top of a tall building just because their favorite superhero hung out there? How about spending two hours waiting on line to go on a fucking ride that makes you want to hurl or tolerating a room full of screaming girls just to curtsy to a princess in a bad wig?? Should we all be shelling out thousands of dollars to don mouse ears and parade around with mylar balloon strollers eating $19 hot dogs, Mickey-shaped waffles, and drinking out of swirly sparkle cups with fluorescent pink straws just to get one smiling shot of our kid not dirty or sleeping or wailing? Maybe not.
The price of college has gone up a million percent since I was a student. Yes, I did the math. No wonder admissions are down and parents are ready to pull their hair out. And yet, it’s as competitive as ever. I’ve never been happier to have already gone through the paces of early parenting and the later panicky stages of thoughtfully making the choice to pay for my son’s higher education. Whew! Being an empty nester is certainly cheaper than my life was as a working single mom.
So when you walk by an exhausted parent at the park this week, or see a crabby patty of kid having an all out tantrum on the street, maybe have a little sympathy… but only if the parent looks like she’s about to lose it. If the parent sports a nonchalant attitude, do not feel compelled to throw the out of bounds ball back to the bratty nine year old. If the parent isn’t going to teach the kid any good lessons, maybe that youngin could learn a thing or two from a thorny bystander like you. So thanks for doing your part! Have a great summer and go get yourself a snack!
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