Don’t you just love it when someone says to you, “Can I be honest with you?” What were you doing this whole time, Janet? Am I now supposed to question everything you said up until this very moment? What about when you said you loved my new haircut?? Or my pink satin bomber jacket? (Janet, my trust is shattered!) I know we all like to think that people are honest by nature, but let’s lean in here for a quick sec and agree that they’re not. “Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue!” At least according to Billy Joel and his millions of fans. So I’m going to capitalize on this opportunity and be honest with you. No, really. (Wink.)
I’ve written a lot about a well curated wardrobe, ditching or donating clothes that no longer fit or no longer fit your lifestyle, and having a good view of your choices so that you can actually wear everything you have. All good advice. Well, it’s time to come clean. Although I make a gallant effort to actually wear every seasonal piece I own within the season it’s designated, NYC has only two or three 63 degree days when the jackets I love most get to make their spring debut. I’m talking to you, heavy studded denim jacket. (C’mon. How cute is she?)
And then out of nowhere, the cruel summer rages forward with her unprecedented heat and humidity and those spring beauties are relegated again to the back of the closet until September slinks onto the scene with cool evenings and tempting fall temps. It drives me nuts. I have way too many “transitional” pieces that just don’t fit with the polarizing New York City weather. I gravitate toward light outerwear. Note to self: do NOT buy spring bombers, heavy denim jackets, cute 3/4 sleeve shackets, linen coats, leather vests… OMG. I need a moment. I think I just had a hot flash thinking of new spring separates. I might need counseling or a workshop. Please send help.
I just took a deep cleansing breath and I’m back. That was a close one. I have something else to admit. I used to be a very competitive person. Sort of a me versus the world thing, especially on the tennis court. I’ve calmed down quite a bit, grown up, and matured since my center court time and now I see myself competing against myself for the purpose of bettering myself. Being more compassionate toward others. More patient. You get the drift. Sounds healthy, right? Well truth be told, I do have a new competitor in my sights. So is it me or does anyone else try to best the time on Waze in a heart racing sort of frenzy that comes down to the last minute or so??
Although I check the weather every day, multiple times a day actually, I’m honestly unclear about watches, warnings, and alerts. What is worse, a watch or a warning? Nope, not even kidding. And don’t even get me started on full moons and low tides. Not a clue there either. Apparently I’m weather obtuse.
Also, the metric system is a complete mystery to me. I only know that 61 degrees Fahrenheit is 16 degrees Celsius. Did you know that?? Why the whole world doesn’t just pick a lane when it comes to measurements I have no idea. Also, I’ve run in a whole bunch of 5K races. Still not a clue how far that is. And, Google Maps changes the distance while we are in France from miles to kilometers so I have no idea how far one thing is from another when I’m planning our excursions. UGH! I do, however, enjoy the 24-hour clock and just love to tell Michael when it’s thirteen o’clock. C’mon, I gotta have a little fun with the time at least.
I know that it takes a confident person to admit they they don’t know something. The first time I heard the word burrata I didn’t know that it was an incredible blob of delicious oozing cheese. Thank goodness I’m a fast learner! Here are some fun words I recently learned that I try to use in casual conversation: Balter means dancing clumsily without any particular grace or skill but usually with enjoyment. Defenstrate is an action verb that describes throwing a person or thing out of a window. (Do not underestimate how often you might be using this word in the near future.) Callipygian is an adjective that means having a shapely bottom while Steatopygic is having a large bottom! Griffonage is a noun that refers to careless or illegible handwriting, which I personally would never be accused of. And a Snollygoster is an unscrupulous, untrustworthy person. You’re welcome.
The very last thing I’m ready to admit is that once upon a time, I genuinely took pleasure in hanging up on someone who made me angry. The landlines back then were so heavy and if you exerted any sort of force whatsoever, the phone would totally slam down against the base. It really was so satisfying. These days I have my temper in check but man oh man, that used to be fun!
So let’s be honest, sometimes we are all a bit of a Janet and hate the haircut and the pink jacket but say nice things to be nice. But it’s really ok when you don’t know something to come clean and say you don’t know. Being genuine opens you up to being vulnerable and likable, not criticized or ridiculed… unless you’re still in middle school and then all bets are off. Wait until adulthood for these exercises. (Sorry kids but it’s way safer.) Saying you don’t know allows someone who does know the opportunity to educate you. And in all cases, smarter makes you better if the educating is done with kindness. I hope you learned something today. I sure did. So balter like nobody is watching and enjoy your Tuesday!
jenslittleblackbook.com 