Rise Above, March 20th

I have a sort of new friend and her name is Sari. I say sort of new because we’ve been pals for a just a few years. (Unlike my friend KLB who I met when subway tokens were still a thing. Yeah, really.) Sari and I connected through common industry people and were LinkedIn together until I saw her across the room at a women’s networking function. I immediately recognized her from her pictures. This one is hard to miss. She has those big cascading blond curls we all dream of and even though she has a notable presence online, in person her smile and confidence light up a room. So I approached her to say hi and introduce myself. She recognized me as well (avoiding a most embarrassing and very public moment for moi) and we’ve been friends in real life ever since.

And the thing I love most about Sari is that she is 100% real. She’s honest without being harsh, she’s supportive without being judgmental, she votes with her feet and shows up, she says good things behind my back in a room I’m not in, she takes care of others, she’s whip smart, she’s dependable, she’s funny, she’s an extraordinarily hard worker, and she makes herself vulnerable to allow others to get to know her. But not everybody loves Sari like I do.

Some people are intimidated by her straightforwardness and can-do attitude. Some are floored by her accomplishments and her willingness to volunteer or lead. One or two have even come forward to try to sideline her. Ha! I guess they had no idea that their blatant attempts to diminish her light only highlighted their own insecurities and made her more aware of her inner strength. Nice try though.

Like all of us, Sari is not perfect. She struggles with her own array of challenges. And that’s where I come in. I allow her to vent to me and she allows me to listen and build her up. Although many years my junior, Sari allows me to vent to her and she builds me up. It’s an amazing symbiotic relationship we have created together. We have an enviable connection. And one I am so grateful for.

Sari and I bonded recently because we were both moving on from very raw, very deep emotional situations. We have both recently “lost” people that we were once close to us. People we thought we could never live without. And the process of moving forward has proved quite difficult for each of us. In both cases these losses have come at a price. A harmful judgmental streak played a big part in both of us taking space from our loved ones. Sari and I believe in acceptance and forgiveness. And for now those lost did not agree with this path forward. And yet we both still fall back on our swords thinking it must have been something we did to warrant those negative judgments. When in fact those lost were just projecting their internal hurts on us. A sad revelation indeed.

Choosing to take steps in a positive direction is a daunting task on a day to day basis. Sometimes I feel equal to the task of rising above it all and giving myself grace… and sometimes I don’t. But I’m always available to help a fellow traveler who is trudging through the tough parts. And I’m so glad that I have Sari and people like her to help me. Repackaging the issues and putting a focus on what we have and more importantly who we have can bring a centering calmness to an otherwise vulnerable mindset. And hey, good friends certainly know how to add a little humor, a bit of fun and certainly some sparkle to a life that requires understanding and love.

So if you’re having trouble rising above, look to a loved one for some help. There is no shame in reaching out. In fact it can even strengthen a relationship by bringing depth of emotion and an opportunity for bonding. We should all have a person like Sari in our lives. If you’re missing this component let me know. I’m willing to share her, or help you myself!