Ever have a not such a good friend who, the minute she sees you, fires a million questions in your direction back to back back and tends to avoid answering any of yours while also avoiding eye contact? A hanger-on who likes to observe and take mental notes (maybe?) but rarely comments out loud. Instead though you might catch her whispering to her clique right in front of you, oblivious to the fact that we see her. We ALL see her! Do you know people like this? Ya. We all do. Because some people are exactly like this.
So many onlookers have become low key obsessed with what everyone else is doing. And my question is, why do they care?? Now I’m not saying that it isn’t fun to catch a little celebrity news now and again or hear a tidbit of juicy industry gossip regardless of your industry, or even listen to some ancient high school chatter about that blonde cheerleader and the soccer star from the rival school right after the bonfire thirty years ago. But hey, after that, are you really super interested in the goings on and intimate details of anyone else’s life? Ya, me neither. Aren’t we all just too busy to be bothered with the unremarkable schedules, grooming habits, and shoe choices of people we don’t know? I have some thoughts…
If you’re giving me valuable intel, like you just tried a breakthrough new fountain of youth eye cream, by all means, invade my feed and make me a believer. Call me. Text me. Don’t stop until I add to cart and begin using this magical medicinal. But if you want me to know that Celebrity A is divorcing Celebrity B, I don’t really care, unless unopened jars of the previously aforementioned fountain of youth eye cream will be handed out at random to the general public including yours truly once the real estate is split and the papers are signed and notarized. And if you think I think you really care about my sleeping habits or the blister I got from wearing those too tight heels, I’m not buying your feigned interest in the minutia of my life. Even I don’t really care.
There are two exceptions to this rule for me. The first is that I actually enjoy those sound videos watching people click, clack, and clean up, restock, refill, and refresh. Have you seen them? They are called ASMR videos. Often described as “brain massages,” ASMR has gained a faithful subculture that thrives on social media platforms. “Creators produce content designed to induce a tingling sensation in viewers, offering a unique auditory and visual experience.” For me those videos are so soothing. I like the rhythm of the noises. They lull me into peacefulness. But I swear that I do not care about the creators. Just the noises.
However, I have to admit that I love watching a totally random but friendly mom in France sharing what she does in a day. I like watching her cook for her daughter or put on her makeup or suggest a restaurant in Paris. She’s just a regular person giving viewers a glimpse into her life. For me the attraction is like a visit where she is the host and I don’t have to say anything or bring anything. But she’s inviting me in and talking directly to me. And she’s not a celeb or doing this for fame. She’s an average mom living her life. She sometimes asks for feedback if she has questions and other times she answers questions from followers. And for some strange reason I find validation in her everyday tasks and thoughts. I relate to her. I like her. And she has no idea that I exist! Which is so comforting to me.
You know the expression you used to use as a kid when someone asked something they had no business knowing the answer to? “Butt out!” Didn’t you just hate when someone was all up in your face or all over your situation? These days so many people fling open the doors to their life and invite everyone in while busy bodies question you until you grimace and depend on one-word answers to give them the hint to end the inquisition. If you don’t mind sharing, or you’re comfortable with a public persona, good for you. I hide behind a screen and have my words define me. And I’m open to comments… but not necessarily questions… because the truth is that I’m busy!
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