Because I live in NYC and I am sort of a self-proclaimed neat freak with a way too keen sense of smell, I’ve never had a kitchen garbage. What I mean by that is that I take out the “temporary trash” every single day. So I don’t own an under the cabinet garbage pail and I don’t have a free standing can of any kind. For the entirety of my adult life living in NYC, I’ve been using easily attainable single use plastic bags to throw out the garbage on the daily. (Yes, shameful on the plastic, I know!)
Fast forward mumblemumble years later and clearly single use plastic is terrible for the environment and now all stores in my area and grocery stores in particular are banned from using plastic bags. They no longer dispense bags of any kind for free and actually make you pay a premium for paper bags or reusable coated plastic ones with which you may schlep your heavy groceries. (If this has not yet affected your area, be forewarned!)
So because I’ve had the plastic habit for so long, and because I knew the law was going to kick in at some point, I’ve been purposely collecting bags to extend my kitchen garbage habit. I’ve even stocked up from regional areas whose laws have not yet taken effect. The result of my concerted efforts? I have amassed an apocalyptic pile of single use plastic bags. I have become a Bag Lady.
What I have NOT done is succumb to the outrageous trend of buying a bag that looks like it’s trash for an insane amount of money. Imagine plunking down $1790 for this Trash Bag Large Pouch by Balenciaga. It’s made in Italy and boasts a calfskin outer layer and a nylon lining and an inner zip pocket. I’m sorry– what???? For a garbage bag? YSL didn’t do much better with their high fashion Take Away Box in Leather for $1890 that looks like a paper lunch container. C’mon. Who is buying these things??
Recently I cleaned out my hall closet, home to umbrellas, extra toner cartridges, the vacuum, coats and jackets, old copies of Jen’s Little Black Book and yes, traditional shopping bags. I have no earthly idea why I like “nice” bags but apparently in addition to collecting plastic, I have a thing for paper bags as well. (This appears to have been the gateway bag that led me to my overzealous plastic bag hoarding tendency.) I am both mortified and proud.
Some paper bags I save knowing I’ll need to use them for clothing donations. Others will be used for inevitable retail returns of some kind. There are heavy duty ones that are ideal for local travel to house shoes and small ones perfect for snacks and drinks on future road trips. I even use big ones as totes to bring in my dry cleaning. These are all lined up like soldiers on the more accessible lower shelf of the hall closet. But some will never again leave the apartment because they have been deemed “good bags.” (If you’re laughing, I know you can relate!”) And those live in protected real estate on the upper shelf out of reach.
Good bags once carried important purchases and for me might actually still hold some sort of memory themselves. I have a holiday bag from my first trip to Paris that I could never part with. I kept a designer bag from a too expensive pair of shoes comemmerating my first big corporate job. I have a few carryalls from the gone but still mourned retailer Barneys New York and they make me feel like I have a little piece of Barneys right here in my house. RIP old friend.
I have some bags from overseas travel and a few from lux retailers that scream, “Look what I got!!” They all tell some sort of story and themselves can be used as a handful of glam when fashionably frolicking about town. I actually read that toting around a fancy paper shopper has become its own trend…
Some bags are to have and some are to hold. Some it appears I plan to never part with… while others are on deck to be tossed out with tomorrow’s tacos. For better or for worse, and because I love, honor, and respect myself, I pronounce myself a Bag Lady.
jenslittleblackbook.com 