All of us gals fall into a variety of foodie categories, either self-imposed or by society’s direction. I think we can break these categories down into a few bite sized chunks. And naturally there is some crossover. But let’s explore some of the top titles to which female foodies might be assigned.
Little Miss Excited can’t wait to order everything on the left side of the menu while she convinces you to order everything on the right. Sharing seems to be the plan. However as you sit not so patiently with your napkin on your lap waiting for the barrage of food she talked you into, the minute your order arrives, she takes four bites and is pretty much done. Stuffed in fact! And you were just gearing up to go big so you feel duped. And you’re thinking, “What was she so excited about if she didn’t even eat her half of the burger with melty triple cream Brie and candied bacon? And she completely ignored the mini scoop of house roasted chicken salad with slivered almonds. Does she not like duck fat skinny fries dipped in super garlicky ranch dressing? And hey! She’s the one who couldn’t wait to try the burnt broccoli with chili lime glaze.” This obviously curtails your zest for digging in so you eat only a tiny bit more and leave frustrated wishing you could have lined your handbag with Saran Wrap and slid all the leftovers in on your way out.
Little Miss Sweet Tooth believes that regardless of how full you are from the meal, dessert is stored in a completely different compartment, so there is never a question of being too full– there is always room. And besides, it’s a necessity! Concerned with pleasing all of the guests at the party, she likes to take a survey to assess how many options are necessary to spread the sugary love around the table, and to see who likes what. She then proceeds to order a lil’ something for everyone and probably two of the thing she likes best. This ensures that all those choosing to partake can try the plethora of desserts she’s summoned. She loves to end the meal on a happy note and feels an extra special connection to other Sweet Tooths like her.
Little Miss High Maintenance has a longer conversation with the waiter than she has with you. She is careful to subtract the items on the twelve-ingredient salad that she doesn’t like, can’t eat, shouldn’t touch, and is potentially allergic to but then proceeds to add items not listed, not included, and not available. The waiter, scribbling furiously and looking terrified, has no idea what to charge for the extras or even how to ring them in, is frightened of the kitchen, and is forced to double check with the chef (twice) regarding her “simple” requests. And, totally oblivious to her strain on the table as she orders exactly what she wants exactly the way she wants it, she portrays a modern-day Sally a la When Harry Met Sally. But now that she’s infamous and you are too by guilty association, you can never show your face in your favorite local spot again. So you’re relegated to ordering takeout and sneaking in at off hours with sunglasses on to both conceal your identity and cover your shame.
We all have friends that fall into the categories of Little Miss Picky Eater who never finds anything she likes no matter where you take her (even the Diner is a problem!), Little Miss Happy Meal who still eats like she’s seven, shuns most vegetables, uses glugs of ketchup regardless of the protein, and wants everything to come with a large side of fries and a big soda, and Little Miss Happy Hour who prefers to drink most of her calories for the day between 4 and 7pm.
Even the French are in on the Little Miss trend but as the rumors go, it appears that they don’t eat all that much and instead chat away! I think this is actually more than a rumor and indeed fact because they tend to drink a ton of coffee and just pick at their pastries while they oohlalala on their phones while dining.
And then we have me. Obviously I’m a dynamic combo of Little Miss Sweet Tooth with a big scoop of Little Miss Girlblogger mixed in. Not only do I enjoy a scrumptious meal and an especially fabulous dessert or two, but I’m also always excited to write about my delicious dining experiences and share them with all of you.
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