So many of us are fighting battles we don’t often discuss. Whether it’s health issues or family drama, work situations, transitions, coping, or money worries, and sometimes even all of the above to some degree. It’s fair to say that we all carry burdens of worry and fear about ourselves, our loved ones, and the future. Sometimes all of these things hit at once and we might feel like our problems are all blended together, so it’s challenging to know where to direct our primary focus. Other times it seems like bad news can come in waves. Just when we think we are about to get up, another setback or concern sidelines our next steps and forces us rethink our plans.
I wrote the above paragraph one day before I tested positive for COVID last year. How’s that for timing? Having lost track of all things relevant in the haze that was my sickness, imagine my surprise when I logged into my blog again to find that paragraph staring me in the face. I sometimes find it hard to define what I do in a single day but wow did I miss a lot by skipping a whole week. No, the world did not stop turning but I missed happy celebrations, two work trips, daylight, oxygen, human contact, and sleep. On the positive side, I had a lot of time to have a think during each of the days that I was out of commission. During the isolation and occasional forced quiet, I was able to just sit with my feelings– something I don’t always allow myself to do.
So today, as many Jews (including me) fast during the holiday of Yom Kippur, it’s another day for a think. It’s a day of atonement, a time of reflection and a day to be uncomfortable both physically and many times emotionally. We remember those we lost, we think about the last year– our actions and the actions of others. We cast off our sins and ask for forgiveness. It’s a big holiday. In fact it’s the holiest day of the year.
All this thinking, especially today, leads me down a path of thinking big. And what I really want to make sure that I do is live my life to the fullest. I know this means different things to different people. To me it means to be the best version of myself that I can be. It means helping others when I can, offering a kind word, encouragement, or a paying a well-deserved compliment to someone who could really benefit from the boost. It means stepping up, taking responsibility, being accountable for my actions, and apologizing when it’s required or needed. It also means forgiving and moving on from people who aren’t sorry, just so that I can have peace for myself. Self-awareness and healing are vital to emotional health. I can’t recycle old hurts and still blame the perps for my loop of despair. I am not a victim forever regardless of the circumstances. I am a survivor who gains strength through personal growth and acceptance of myself and others.
So if you’re going through a lot right now (everyone!) or find yourself bombarded by difficulties in the future, I encourage you to take some time to have a big think. You’ll be amazed at the clarity you can reach and the peace that you might find. Answers to questions that have plagued you can appear. Acceptance might finally be an option you choose to select. And as a better version of yourself, you can unlock a new dimension to the quality of your life and up the happiness quotient significantly.
For those of you who are fasting, I wish you a quick and easy fast. For those of you who are thinking (hopefully everyone), I wish you success with yourself and your loved ones. Regardless of our collective religious beliefs, may we all live another year in good health, rich with happiness. Much Love, Jen
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