Life · What The F*ck? · You're Gonna Love This

You’re A Mean One Mr. Sink, November 7th

Ok, what exactly is going on with the pipes in my building? Is anyone else experiencing serious issues on the homefront because so many people are working from their primary residences these days? For the second time in four years I had a massive kitchen sink overflow. And the scary part of this little adventure was that the sink backed UP from the drain causing gallons of water, sediment, and garbagy residue to cascade from my overflowed double wide basin onto my counters and floor! Ewww and yuck!

My fantastic building maintenance team formed a literal bucket brigade to reduce the damage by dumping all of this sludgy water into a bathtub. This happened after all of my upstairs neighbors were told to please stop running their faucets! A plumber was called in for a Saturday emergency run to unclog the problem– bacon grease and coffee grinds he suspected. So it was a brunch problem??

It’s no secret that most buildings in NYC aren’t allowed to have garbage disposals in their kitchens. I’d love to say that I’ve done the research to find out why, by alas, I have not. But since we aren’t allowed InSinkErators, it shouldn’t come as a shock to residents to that non water soluble food waste and pipe-clogging contaminants are not drain friendly!

I knew this but it was reinforced to me (by the man in uniform with the comically lowriding pants and the sneak peak at his, ahem moon) that I live at the “joint” in the system. The units above me have the same apartment configuration as I do, but I’m the lowest of my kind. (Insert hilarious joke here. Go ahead.) Below me the units are different, therefore the pipes wiggle. So if there is a backup in my line, I’m the first apartment to experience the effects of the clogged pipes. Oh, greaaaaat! Ramon was able to clear the blockage and normal sink functions soon returned. Whew!

And as for the primary bathroom, is concerned I feel like I’m regularly glugging gallons of commerical use only super premium platinum Drano max gel in the impossible to lift with one hand size down the drain at $8.99 an ounce. What is happening?? I promise I didn’t lodge a slew of Q-Tips, or a comb, pipe cleaners, marbles or a toothbrush down there. What could possibly be clogging my drain?

I have no shower problems. The tub seems perfectly content. All I can surmise from these recent drainage issues is that you’re a mean one, Mr. Sink. So I’m considering a Go Fund Me page to solicit donations to help with my gurgling water issues… but I just loathe the thought of pouring more money down the drain!

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