My friend KLB and I met at work when I was in my 20s and she was in her 30s although she looked younger than I. (Still does.) I tease her lovingly about this occasionally and she eats it up. We don’t see each other often but we send each other hilarious memes because she knows my humor and I’ve got hers down pat, too. Welcome to this edition of Meme Girls. Today we are going to focus on… relationships. I started the conversation on a dreary Wednesday with this ice breaker…
“Jenster! Good morning. You’re probably wondering why I’m awake since my usual up time is closer to the noon hour. The rain woke me! What’s with all the violent storms? Anyway, I googled your symptoms, too. Yep, you’re right. But here’s the silver lining, sweetheart…”
“There are very few people on planet earth that I could live with but I think you could be one of them. I know I was married once (painful!) but how do two people occupy the same space without killing one another? My then husband had a pile of dirty clothes on the floor. After a week or more, he’d finally decide to do laundry. But before he did, he’d carefully sniff an item from his pile and promptly decide that all of the items in the laundry tower were in fact not dirty at all! He’d fish out one item and wear it. OMG, how did I even survive??”
“I admire you for living with Bill.”
“Yeah, I know. But we have division of labor and spend time in headphones and have different sleeping patterns. So we make it work. Do you think you and Michael will live together one day?”
“That’s a good one! I’m thinking no because we love time together and we love time apart. But maybe one day. He really gets me in ways no person ever did. Plus this…”
“Wow, Jen. If he gives you THAT feeling, I’m sure you can relate to this…”
“I cannot stop laughing!! Where do you find these? Maybe I follow the wrong people. Sounds like Sharon is a pseudonymph anyway– she acts all cozy with everyone, but never acts on it. Ugh. I hate chicks like that. I remember after college I used to hit all those clubs on the West side in the 20s. (I hadn’t met you yet.) All the men smelled like the cologne the spritzers in white lab coats from Bloomingdale’s.”
“But before you say anything… Michael just happens to wear great cologne and I love him. Don’t make fun! Although, I gotta tell you, we have briefly talked about moving in together. But I got nervous when he discussed his latest ambitious home improvement project…”
“IKEA. Where couples go to argue and break up. Or stay together and never speak on the way home. Jen, they should totally offer marriage counseling in the kitchen section. Some doctor in Elizabeth New Jersey would make a damn fortune. I bet every woman in the front seat of every minivan leaves there with her arms crossed as she stares out the window in complete silence!”
“OMG. I seriously cannot stop laughing. Vanskaplig cam lock nuts? Is that even a thing? I watched a boyfriend build a wall unit in my studio apartment and came just shy of murdering him for helping me! But I cooled my jets because…”
“And I have to share this because it’s just completely priceless!”
“Four hubbies? That poor woman! I can’t even do one. Well at least Michael isn’t fully aware of your shopping habits. And I’m guessing you intend to keep it that way? We all have our things and our passion projects. And Jenster, your secrets are safe with me. Besides, you two sound perfect for each other. Ummmm… try not to throw up that I said that out loud.”
“I think we make a pretty good match. But we each have our faults.”
“And I didn’t realize that dinner each night we are together would be such a negotiation. Spinach in particular seems to be an issue of late when we’re both at my house. Do you have this cooking issue or you just order in?”
“We get take out! The kitchen is no place to argue when everyone delivers. At least our significant others dress their age. Have you seen those thirtysomethings out on the town? Who is convincing men they look good in those way too slim pants??”
“I know. Fashion is certainly questionable these days, K. I think men in general just don’t pay attention to the details that most chicks clue into immediately. Like…”
“Totally! I could dye my hair black and get spiky bangs and Bill would tell me I’m gorgeous and not even notice the radical change to my ‘do. But I know we are both thankful we picked good eggs. Especially after your decades long man drought.”
“Yeah. There were definitely some lunatics thrown into the mix for a bit. But thank goodness they were so extreme or I wouldn’t have had enough material to publish my book!”
“Some people are so happy that they aren’t alone. They seem happier to be with someone (anyone) even if the relationship has deteriorated than to put themselves out there to search for a viable new partner. To me, the reason to have a BF is that he can reach the high shelves, fix the stupid printer, and this…”
“That’s so Miranda from Sex and the City when she had to be saved by Carrie’s boyfriend Aiden from the bathroom floor when she hurt her neck. (She didn’t have her own significant other at the time.) Relationships can be rough! But friends are always there for you!”
“Exactly. And if you ever run into problems I will always support you. And if that isn’t enough there’s this dude…”
jenslittleblackbook.com 