A few years back I had an old boss who loved to talk about finding the “secret sauce.” I was in sales for that company and my database had over 2000 prospects I was expected to call on regularly. Boss was determined for me to find a way into all of them. And his advice was to find their “secret sauce.” By this he was referring to what made them tick. What kept them up at night? What magic words would automatically get them to roll out the red carpet and invite me into a meeting with the President, CFO, or top dog.

I did get into an enormous amount of those privately held companies and was thrilled to close a great deal of business. But I didn’t use their secret sauce to get in. I used mine. I called it The Goldilocks Method of marketing. You can’t do too much—you’ll annoy them and blow your chances. You can’t do too little—you’ll be forgettable. You have to find the perfect balance of calling on them with finesse and manage to stay top of mind but not by being too pushy. In other words, your technique has to be juuuuust right. Just like Goldilocks.

Every company and each leader are different so it’s definitely not a once size fits all sort of strategy. Details matter and you have to pay close attention to what they respond to and what they ignore. But what you’re selling is YOU. Your brand. Your ideas. And once you see that you have traction with a thought, idea, concept or recommendation, there’s your secret sauce. Then it’s all about the respectful follow up.

This method worked for me closing a particularly big deal. I kept in touch with the CFO and his assistant for four years while Boss told me I was wasting my time—we were never going to do that deal. Never. So I didn’t push, but I refused to cut the ties. So I hosted casual lunches and made sure I checked in to say hi around the holidays. I invited them to various events and sent informative information with my own spin, but we never really talked about business because I was warned that we would never participate in that transaction anyway. Sure enough, four years later the CFO called me personally and invited me into his deal. We ended up taking a nine-figure position in a ten-figure opportunity! I was elated. And I was paid handsomely for my efforts.

I guess the moral of this story is whether you’re sweet, direct, sassy, jokey, assertive or newsy, your approach should showcase your own personal spin. And that’s truly the secret sauce– making it personal.

