When I was in high school I tested very well in Math and Science. I was not a terrific writer (oh, the irony!) and my reading comprehension wasn’t stellar. (Thank God those last two improved because I’m not sure in the real world how necessary it is to do quadratic equations but communicating intelligently for practically every white-collar job is sort of baseline.) Anyway, I had such an affinity for those subjects that I was actually selected as a paid peer tutor for both Algebra and Chemistry. Nerd alert! Nerd alert!
I had one student named Sarah and she was just dumbfounded by Chem. I used both my old notebook and her new textbook to slowly work with her and supplement her in-class instruction. And man, this girl worked hard. I’m happy to report that with my committed tutelage and her dedication, she finished the year strong with a B+ up from a failing grade. We were a great team. We worked well together. And you might just say that we had great chemistry.
Wikipedia defines chemistry as the scientific study of the properties and behavior of matter. You remember the periodic table of elements, right? Uh, oh. Does someone need a little refresher course? I’d have to dig out my notes! Anyway, chem focuses on elements that have a behavioral change or reaction with exposure to other atoms or molecules or ions. And this concepts jumps right out of the lab and relates to all of our social interactions, too.
I’ve met many people in my life where the initial introduction or “reaction” was so great that we clicked at hello. And yes, I’ve met other people by whom I was instantly and permanently so turned off that they literally “lost me at hello.” (Sort of the anti-Jerry McGuire response.) Others of course have grown on me. It’s why we all can form amazing bonds with co-workers– these are folks with whom we might never have liked in the real world but due to circumstances (common gripes, group project, common dislike of other pesky co-workers, etc.) we find ourselves great friends.
In my younger years I was very keen to be well liked by everyone, which of course just wasn’t the case. I’m certainly not for everybody. Now I’m much more accepting of myself and I seek out others who have a similar sunny disposition or a complementary personality. Those “compounds” or bonds form easily and seem to grow over time for me. I also have developed a pretty good sense of who might be turned off by me. And I hang back and don’t pursue those friendships or collegial relationships. I can take a hint, (eventually!) however subtle. Sometimes the rebuff does hurt my feelings but most times I can brush it off and chalk it up to lack of understanding, willingness of acceptance or… you guessed it… simple chemistry. (Plus, maybe I don’t like them either!) We have all used the expression, “I don’t know what it is about her/him, but she/he just rubs me the wrong way.” And it’s actually true that some interactions just don’t work.
It’s perfectly ok to like who you like, no matter the reason or circumstances under which you collided. When it comes to basic chemistry, sometimes it’s just organic!
jenslittleblackbook.com 