The Sound Of Silence, February 7th

We all know most of the lyrics to the famous Simon & Garfunkel song The Sound of Silence, “Hello darkness my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you again.” In my case, in the darkness, I’m constantly talking to myself at odd hours of the morning since I just can’t sleep through the night lately! And it’s driving me so bonkers to have such pervasive thoughts that I’m scribbling notes, straightening up, doing laundry, and even getting a little work done during the wee hours. Just this week I’ve had three two-hour middle of the night episodes. Please make them stop! I’m tired!!

You know when you’re up and you don’t want to be awake, so you lie there, not opening your eyes and trying not to think about all the things you’re already thinking about? And then it’s an internal battle of shut up and go back to sleep vs. whoa, hold on there sister, I’m thinking here! By the time I overthink it and fight this head game, I’m wide awake, it’s 3:30, and I might as well get out of bed and toss those sad looking blueberries I promised to eat yesterday but didn’t since they looked a little peaked. Yuck. I do have my middle of the night priorities, folks. It seems cleaning and straightening up involve easy, completable tasks on which I can bail if the yawns draw me back into bed and sleep beckons once again.

The only thing I love about the middle of the night is the supreme quiet! The marble droppers upstairs have finally put down their mini round weapons of mass disruption and called it a day. The construction workers across the street are far from their job site, probably still home in their own beds dreaming of more annoying Bob the Builder type work that produces maximum ripple and reverberation throughout the canyons of my neighborhood’s tall buildings.

I also love that both of my phones are silent! No pings or dings or calls, texts, or emails. Nobody is looking for me and I’m in the safety zone of not being wanted for a Teams meeting and not having to keep up with the constant flow of questions, and data, and events that pop up and populate my robust calendar. I am off the proverbial clock… even though of course the clock is still ticking!

Eventually after a few hours of logging in business cards with new contacts, restocking the paper plates, running the dishwasher, organizing my fingerless gloves, and refilling the printer paper, I find myself crawling back into bed hoping these menial but productive activities have exhausted me enough that my brain quiets and to slumber I may return. But it’s a total crap shoot. The good news is that it’s still quiet. Nobody’s alarm has gone off yet and the sun isn’t even peeking out from the horizon.