Stop the madness with this winter cold already. Just walking outside early this morning and I can barely feel my fingers and toes. I do believe that I… have become… uncomfortably numb. And of course this little joke makes me laugh! So what do I do when I stumble half frozen into my apartment? I rip off my gloves, wiggle my fingers back to room temp, and quickly find a pic from Dumb & Dumber of Harry licking the freezing metal pole and send it to my friend KLB with the caption, “I was just outside. I. Have Become. Uncomfortably Numb. Don’t even think of leaving your house today. Poles everywhere. Danger Will Robinson.”
Of course she gets the references immediately because… well, yeah, and we’ve been friends for more than 27 years. So the iPhone, never far from her witty clutches, bubbles to life and she writes back with the laughing/crying emoji. But I just know more is coming. So I wait for it… Sure enough she replies a few minutes later inquiring about my tongue with a cow meme and the caption, “Hey, Jenster? Is this you?” So I banter back with, “Damn, I knew that conthealer wath a bit too brown. The lady at the cothmetics counter thaid it was just my thade!”
And so it goes. This format governs our interactions nine out of every ten texts. And we love it. We are Meme Girls. (And on Wednesdays we wear pajamas, but we’ve never tried to make fetch happen.) I find it absolutely hilarious to speak in pictures, quotes, and emojis. Our favorite topics range from the pandemic to our weight, random laughs, women’s issues, our obsessive need to clean, daily annoyances, and current events. And the best part is that no matter how funny the meme is, our collective commentary always one ups the topic.
For instance, KLB knows that recently I planned to do a little shopping. So I texted her from the jeans section of The Gap asking if she was a yay or nay regarding the controversial high waisted style. She wrote back, “No hard pants. Elastic waist only. Save yourself. Do not fall into The Gap. RUN!” So I ignored her and tried on a few pair anyway. Total and complete disaster of course and I was forced to abort the mission. So I sent her this.
And she responded, “Braids are SO coming back. I didn’t know The Gap even sold hats.” I fell over in the fitting room laughing. Then she sent this and I practically peed myself while still wearing the unforgiving high waisted style.
KLB is a neat freak just like yours truly—with most of the emphasis on the neat and not the freak. A few weeks later she was cleaning a head of lettuce in her kitchen sink, and not really paying attention. So she accidentally used Clorox spray instead of her favorite Organic Veggie Wash because the bottles look similar and, not to name any names here (BILL), but SOMEONE in her house might have absentmindedly switched the usual placement of the bottles. Anyway, after the debacle, she cleaned the rest of the apartment and sent me this picture.
Amazed that she used more than just water to rinse lettuce, I wrote, “Vegetables can be toxic. Maybe you should order a pizza? And stop cleaning everything. You’re giving my dust bunnies anxiety.” And then I sent her this…
And then I couldn’t resist one more!
She sent back twelve laughing emojis and asked, “Is butter a carb?” My turn to crack up. Then we had a whole discussion about gluten free items vs. just avoiding gluten altogether, if we were fans of cauliflower pizza, and the benefits of almond milk instead of regular milk. These were the results of our discussions…
And regardless of whether you’re a fan of cauliflower or not, how could you not be reduced to sophomoric tears of laughter with that meme?? I’m still laughing about it. Then came this doozy. And as a writer, I couldn’t help but wonder what other suggestions hit the big board in that brainstorming session. I’ll bet it was quite a hoot.
About a week later, this gem from her popped up.
Which reminded me of my favorite check the box meme that I promptly sent over. Some people are so clever!! She piped up with, “You joined a gym??”
Then she said that she couldn’t check any boxes today (we both consider ourselves proud box checkers!) until all of her laundry was done. Still content living in a rent-controlled apartment since 1985 (bitch stole my look), she is forced to use the community laundry room located on the subterranean level. KLB knows I’m so grateful to have a washer dryer right in my unit—a topic we’ve spoken about many times and the impetus of her wanting to move—although she never does. So I sent her this…
The line about business days reminded me that I had an upcoming conference call and it was time for me to get back to work. I told her I wasn’t able to banter now. So she ended our chat with this winner…
KLB and I have been friends through bad boyfriends, marriage, divorce, birthdays, injuries, sickness and health, success, failures, inside jokes, “situations” (if I tell you any more than that I’d be breaking confidentiality!), nicknames, movie quotes, song lyrics, horrible bosses, lawsuits, laughter, and plenty of tears. And I’m so happy that a picture between friends is still worth at minimum a few great emojis.
jenslittleblackbook.com 
One thought on “Meme Girls, February 1st”