After a long stretch of consuming calories like I was imminently being sent to the electric chair, I’m proud to say that I’ve finally changed my eating habits. I’m not just looking to drop a few lbs. I’m searching for true inner peace and I think that for me, this comes from a smaller number on the scale– thinner peace if you will.
Although I believe in self-acceptance and self-love and all of those feel-good techniques of creating happiness from within, it’s also the case that if I can’t fit into any of my Winter coats, the only thing brewing from within this chick will be a total and complete meltdown if I’m forced to freeze my ass off this Winter with not one salvageable jacket. Replacing all of my fabulous outwear is completely out of the question. It’s taken years of curating my closet to procure those gems! Nope. I’m keeping my coats and I’ve shut my trap. So electric chair beware– I’ve had a dramatic change of course.
The thing about a drastic change to such ingrained eating patterns is that old habits are reaaaally hard to break. Dessert after any meal has always been a given. Now I have to make the conscious choice to skip sugar altogether, share, or make better choices on content and portion size. I’m trying to avoid the calorie bomb of cake, cookies, ice cream, or any combination of the above. Fruit works. A small square of dark chocolate can be satisfying. A mini cup of hot chocolate is a big fave, too. But the less the better and none is obviously preferable… unless a hard pass causes a teary response and incredible longing. Then I give in slightly for a modified nibble to avoid an all-out binge of retaliation.
I’ve broken up with carbs again, too. They over promise on taste and way over deliver on addictive value and calorie content. It’s so unfair! They woo me with buttery mashed potatoes and charm me with crusty French bread and salty whipped butter. Warm, flakey croissants. Chips that beget more chips! Fried rice that boasts so many veggies and flavors! Damn you all for your courting and teasing. But I will remain strong in my resolve to resolve my outerwear obstacle.
For me, a thinner piece of cake might just pave the way to (th)inner peace one deliciously missed bite at a time.
jenslittleblackbook.com 