Why is your 50th birthday supposed to be a bigger deal than your 51st? Isn’t there more to celebrate at 51? More on which to reflect? Certainly more people in your Rolodex. Why are the years ending in fives and zeros so significant? A long time ago, someone developed the concept that 100 was everything. One hundred percent was the best that you could do on a test! And a 100% percent match was perfection! So meaningful fractions of this whole were then celebrated. A quarter of a century! Your golden anniversary!
To be honest, my 30th birthday was awful! Not two months earlier I lost a pregnancy in my second trimester. My body was still misshapen and my spirits were so down. I was not getting along with my spouse and it was Winter in NYC. I was absolutely freezing, felt empty inside and just went through the celebratory motions. It was just terrible! The day was like a blur and I couldn’t wait to get it over with.
My 40th birthday was not all that much better. It was the downturn of the market in 2008 and my company suddenly shuttered the entire New York City office. My job was eliminated with no notice two days before I turned 40! I ended up celebrating with my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and boyfriend at a schmancy Italian restaurant in The Village. And unbeknownst to me, my unbelievably presumptuous significant other ordered an insanely expensive bottle of wine for the table that I didn’t touch and my mom and sister were caught splitting the bill! I only found out about the price tag years later because my mom didn’t want to ruin my birthday! PS- That guy and I tooooootally broke up. (Who does that? So tacky and no class!)
My 50th was actually pretty great. I didn’t have a party by choice, but I was able to string together merriment with my nearest and dearest across the span of two celebratory weeks. I bought myself beautiful earrings to mark the occasion and soon thereafter flew to visit my son at college. I was only slightly distracted at the time by my then recent decision to pursue legal action against a formidable corporate foe! But I tried not to let that looming legal battle dilute my positive attitude or puncture my birthday balloon.
I’d have to say that other than my ninth birthday, which was an indoor pool party at the YMCA in February (which made it soooo cool), my 53rd birthday was the best one so far. My pandemic party involved receiving a case of toilet paper and a 12 pack of tissues as part of my gift! A fancy fish spatula was a welcome addition to my modest kitchen gadget collection and special birthday burgers were delivered right to my door. I was so happy! See? Fifty-three triumphed and all those other supposedly BIG birthdays could have just been zeroed out.
The expectation to have a blowout party, or fancy gathering, or look your best, or eat something extravagant, or travel to the far corners of the globe is way too much pressure to handle for me. I’m happy to do a low-key toast with some yummy treats and forgo all the hubbub. The only birthday present I’m looking for next year is an added zero at the end of my commission statement! Now that’s what I call zeroing in!
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