It’s A Sham, November 5th

Growing up my room was pretty simple until about age 12. Then my Mom hired a decorator named Evelyn with big teased hair and bleeding red lipstick to fluff up and finish our abode. When my room was finally “done” I had shiny white formica furniture and a bed that had a huge drawer underneath the platform for storage. The storage drawer housed the coverlet when I was in the bed, and the comforter when the bed was made. But the actual act of making the bed was awful. I had to yank the comforter off of the bed and fold it neatly so it fit in the bottom drawer and then attach the snugly fitting coverlet to the mostly naked sheet-covered mattress. Well that struggle proved way too difficult for me. I hated having to wrestle with the Velcro to attach the fabric at each corner. So most mornings and I got yelled at for not making my bed. I did neatly adjust the comforter and put all 9 (NINE!!!) shams on the bed before I blew out the door for school each day, but I hated the whole fancy bed thing with the overabundance of pillows.

So I did what any lazy teen would do. I found a workaround! My first thought was to just sleep right on top of the fancy coverlet. That lasted all of three nights until I was told I was “ruining the bedding!” “Can one actually ruin bedding?” I asked with that know-it-all obnoxious sneer. (I throw that question into the linen abyss since I got a not so nice reply when I asked that question in earnest.) Anyway, when that genius solution failed, I oped to sleep on the floor. I folded my comforter in half and snuggled up in the blanket like I was wrapped up in a taco. My floor was covered so between the thick pile of the carpet and the fluff of the blanket, I convinced myself that the pain of the floor was better than the annoyance of the daily bed making.

As a newly minted adult, my first apartment was a studio, so my nightly routine involved opening the pull-out couch on which I slept. So we all know what ended up happening over time, right? I’d be too tired to undo the bed and would just chuck the pillows on the floor and sleep on the couch with my fluffy comforter. And no one yelled at me for ruining the couch! Being an adult really had its early advantages.

Now that I’m a seasoned grown up with a fully decorated home, I have only 1 (ONE!!) throw pillow and an easy to make bed that involves straightening the blanket and ta-da the room looks super tidy. I remember visiting my ex-husband’s house while he was married to his second wife and I happened to walk past their bedroom on my way to my son’s room. One look at their bed with the 12 throw pillows in various sizes and colors had me in hysterics. I guess that bed making took a toll on him too, as now they are divorced.

However you choose to make your bed, I hope it’s super comfy and cozy. And don’t worry about the mattress police (in case you finally cut those tags off), or the bedding patrol. That whole line about ruining the linens was a total sham!