An Angry Mug, July 23rd

I once worked for finance company and my boss’s boss had a mug on his desk that said ME BOSS. YOU NOT. Sometimes it was challenging to find the mug, as his desk was littered with papers, files, a toppled stack of business cards, a coffee mug he actually used, my unpaid expense report, other knickknacks, and general crap. I’m sure the kiss ass who gifted him this treasure reeeeally had his number because Me Boss walked around with a permanent scowl on his face; an angry mug if you will. The porcelain chalice just summed up what the guy was always thinking: I’m in charge, and you’re a peon so here’s a reminder.

I think about the writers of those obnoxious mugs and the creative geniuses behind those sarcastic greeting cards. Where do they get their material? (Did one of them intern at my old firm?) Are they all ex-Corporate America workaholics who happily quit to write hilarious prose?

I envy their wit and the freedom they enjoy writing what they want and getting paid for their snappy clapbacks and funny one liners. My Mom used to spend an hour at a time in a good card store breaking out into laughter at the funny zingers.

I too have adopted her giggle-inducing habit. Like her, I also pre-shop for great cards and when I see a winner for someone special, even if the upcoming occasion is 12 months away, I buy the sucker and sit on it, excited to produce it at exactly the right time for maximum impact. Ta-da! (My friend Alison framed one of the birthday cards I gave her because she said it was just SO her!)

What about the folks who literally “do the dishes” for Fishs Eddy? They have a whole line of hysterical plates, serving, and storage options for their Intervention-ware collection with headlines like, “Don’t bother storing this” and “Order in tonight. No one will be disappointed.” “Big mistake” and “What exactly were you trying to make?” They even have a collection called Brooklynese with servers labled Creamuh, Shuguh, Buttah, and Cawffee. I just love it all!

Self-expression is such a good thing. It’s vital for us as unique individuals to produce exclusive material that sets us apart from one another– funny sayings, signature phrases, or a specific accent we use when we describe a story, like how Chandler Bing from the TV show Friends emphasizes a particular word when he speaks. For example: “Can you BE more dramatic?” In my case, I try to notice the tiny details of life that bring me enormous laughter when they are analyzed to a microscopic degree, and then I cobble together a few that make sense, and throw in a personal story to tie the whole thing together. There– now you know my secret sauce for writing the blog. The jig is up!