Few sandwiches beat the classic turkey club– the crisp lettuce, a thick slice of Roma tomato, baaaacon, a great stack of deli turkey, and a swirl of good mayo that quietly but critically complements true sandwich perfection. (Shout out to Boar’s Head for the mouthwatering photo above.) I hate to mess with a classic, but in this case, I must. What’s with that third piece of bread? Who invited another slice to join this already happening party? No three-wheeling needed here, thanks. And if the vertical is thereby lowered, there’s really no need for toothpicks. So here’s what I’m thinking…
We need toothpicks for their primary tasks of cheese cubes, fruit squares, pigs in the blanket, and cake testing.
It’s cruel to give toothpicks additional responsibility when they are just tossed aside without so much as a kiss goodbye. I say we kick them out of the club! And watch– they will be thrilled. I think an open face sammy is the way to go here. Why? Well because you need room for the salty fries and a few bites of that gorgeous, garlicky pickle. C’mon, you knew that. (And you could totally George Costanza that bad boy with a knife and fork, a la the Snickers candy bar episode!)
Being part of a club is only good when you add value, get along with your fellow members and can have some fun. Getting tossed, although painful at first, can often times prove to be a blessing. In the case of the extra bread and the toothpicks, they could totally team up and shop around for a new gig.
I actually saw a nice salami contingency hanging out above the deli counter at Zabar’s and I bet they’d fit in nicely there.
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