The day you get a new phone is complete euphoria and a total slice of hell. The glitzy new features you’ve been craving combine with the sheer terror that you might have waited too long and that your outdated phone might actually not hold a charge long enough for you to have completed the conversion from the dusty, old 6s to the sexy new iPhone. A toxic brew of stress induced frenzy and hopefulness seems typical inside the phone store. Most associates are sweating right through their royal blue shirts. (Even their nametags seem exhausted.)
Then the questions…How much are the monthly payments? Is my data backed up? 128 or 256? Do I really need the most powerful camera? What about a new case? You end up negotiating against yourself. After entering all of your usernames and passwords to boot up your apps, the pings are endless if you’ve forgotten your logins. But alas, the process eventually works and voila—you’re sporting a shiny new Apple. (Hey, Baby. You lookin’ faaaahn.)
The only way to properly celebrate is to constantly check your phone to see if you missed any calls for the six minutes while you were “down,” change your noises, signals, reminder squawks and alarms, reorder your pages, brag endlessly about your new hardware to anyone that will listen, and charge the sucker. Ahhhhh, fresh picked relief.
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